May 30, 2012

‘The day should be fairly positive, Scorpio, and you’ll begin to feel the faintest hints of a major change beginning. This new phase will last seven months. As it progresses, you’ll find greater freedom of expression. You can expect to shift into high gear in subjects you used to avoid. Some friction with siblings is likely to arise in the next few months.’

So I think that today’s horoscope was just about right.

So many things change so fast! But I’m ‘in love with life’ faze.

New home. Well very nice place, and I’m not gonna freak out with quick decoration. i like it as it is.

I’m reading the signs. Ed’s music is remedy and sign for everything. Bad moment and ‘You need me I don’t need you’ comes up on the radio. Then today, first time in dad’s new car ‘Small bump’ appears.

I just love it!

So I decided to be spontaneous. More. And less thinking about what will happen later, or what if. It will haunt me, but I’ll fight it!

Today I was making the plan come true. And I had pretty amazing time.

I got my first university prospectus: Oxford Brookes.

And my new favourite candle is raspberry and apple now.

What a positive life. And I feel that love emanating from me. From within.

Tomorrow pretty exciting day too, lunch with Farjana and deepening our lip balm obsession.

10:38pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCuorxMRZnYO
May 15, 2012

I don’t really know what I know. So the only thing I can be sure of is that I know nothing I need to now. Panic will come quickly then. Then I’ll cry all the way home.

I’m going to relax my mind then. Maybe’ll help. But doubt that. I will just cry tomorrow.

Where are you love of my life to rescue me?! Come quickly!

10:14pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCuorxLYBdlp
May 13, 2012

Currently: I’m depressed.

Impending exams? But it will be over in two weeks time. So I’m trying to persuade myself that it’s a good way to show off how much I know (or don’t know) and if it goes wrong, it goes wrong.

I think I’m cured. I feel nothing. Boys are not the theme I need. They are like rain. Must fall. Sometimes in happy way, we can walk and feel the sunshine. Or in a depressing way, we get so wet and ill that we see only darkness. But it’s necessary in order to experience life in its full dimension. So for now I’m sheltered, I don’t want any rain. Dreams means work, I must think of my future and revise. And along the way I know that I will have to deal with them, not once, twice but hell more.

6:51pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCuorxLPpMGZ
May 12, 2012

I feel weak. And fragile.

Yesterday was great. Nothing planned is always the best. and I love those moments. But why may is always so shit?! And I always find out about awful things before exams. I hate guys.

So I thought he ignores me but I;m getting ‘the looks’ again. What does it mean?

And the ‘looks’ for HIM now stop forever. Idiot. How could he?! How stupid is this. He had a girlfriend for all this time, or just someone to shag, and even though he messed up with my time. How selfish is this?! I know it was nothing on scale 1 to 10. Maybe 3, but still if he had someone elsewhere why me! And I’m just angry! Why?!?!

I promise myself to not get involved with any one again. Even the looks part. Friends ok, but why they always lie and just think they can do anything. Even guy friends are lazy and forgetful. I was sitting there waiting, and just been ignored. And the next day he completely forgot to ask, apologize, anything!

I hate all the male race! So freaking selfish. Love doesn’t exist. At all. Idiots.

I’m tired of this. There is always something drugs, girlfriend, even gayness! Why am I always getting the bad ones. Why can’t I for once get someone decent?!

Oh now I can’t wait to move out of this society of psycho males, somewhere, anywhere to finally reassure myself that I can get someone decent. And never repeat my parents mistakes! Marriage: last legal form of slavery. Never for me. I want to be free. And never again lied to.

But still I wondering how is it that boy that I would least expect to be a bitch is even worse?!

7:01pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCuorxLLoUz_
May 6, 2012

the only thing i can feel is emptiness.

where are you?

9:10pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCuorxK-MFIS
April 29, 2012

is it even worth it?

6:06pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCuorxKYm27q
April 21, 2012
When the student is ready the teacher appears. is it happening yet? until the very end. because there is no such word as fail in my dictionary. 

When the student is ready the teacher appears.

is it happening yet?

until the very end. because there is no such word as fail in my dictionary. 

11:48pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCuorxK3F335
April 21, 2012
"In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity"

— Albert Einstein

11:46pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCuorxK3EaeQ
April 20, 2012
i’m really in love with life today. coke always wins!

i’m really in love with life today.

coke always wins!

9:19pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCuorxJ_Tqd1
April 20, 2012

love me whatever my height.

9:18pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCuorxJ_TX-w
April 20, 2012

i’ll make sure to kiss you under full moon.

9:17pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCuorxJ_TT6J
April 20, 2012

strawberries tasts like lips do.

9:17pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCuorxJ_TP7S
April 19, 2012
"The darkest hour is just before dawn."

— but soon i’ll breate that fresh air. for now twilight.

7:27pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCuorxJwugf5
April 19, 2012
Either fight or die. Or die in fighting for something. Lately, I’ve been thinking if I want to fail. And no. I don’t. I will fight and even if I won’t achieve what I need I’ll achieve what I want. I’ll stay up until the very end. I know I’m on my own. Well, not exactly new situation I found myself in so I’ll manage.

Either fight or die. Or die in fighting for something.

Lately, I’ve been thinking if I want to fail. And no. I don’t.

I will fight and even if I won’t achieve what I need I’ll achieve what I want.

I’ll stay up until the very end. I know I’m on my own. Well, not exactly new situation I found myself in so I’ll manage.

7:24pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCuorxJwuH0t